In memoriam…

The Death of MTV

Do you remember the days when you could discover new music by watching TV and not just from the radio? Do you remember when you go see the bands perform, kind of like a mini-concert in your own home? I do remember those days and it’s been a long time since then.

It all began in1981, when MTV, or Music Television, was brought onto the air. In the beginning it was all about the music videos and featuring new songs or artists. And that’s all it was about. It was a new concept that no one had seen before and lots of people loved it. I’m sure that many young artists got their big break because MTV showed their video.

But in the last 10 or 15 years, everything has changed. Reality shows started showing up on the line-up and now, that and teen-oriented shows are all that’s left. Well, I think there are still some video shows somewhere in the dead part of the night when most people are asleep.

I say all this because a couple of nights ago, the MTV Video Music Awards aired on the network, and I puzzled me. How do you have an awards show for videos when your network only has a couple of hours in which is even shows videos? Nowadays, those music videos are mostly shown on YouTube, so shouldn’t it be changed to the YouTube VMAs?

Now don’t get me wrong, I have loved MTV in the past and even watched some of the first reality shows they aired, like The Real World. But honestly, there was way too much drama and immaturity going on for me to stay interested for long.

I wish it could go back to the way it was, but I know that the generation that watches it now has only known this kind of MTV and would probably never accept the network that it once was. I know that there is no going back, and I am saddened by it. But I suppose the world changes and we must accept those changes and move on.

Learning to Let Go

I love to write and love having a blog…and strangely even with my insecurities and all of that, I love having people, even strangers, reading the things that I write. But I always hold back a little because of those insecurities and not wanting to be judged for the things I write about or the things that I do with my life or feel. I look at other bloggers and the things they write about their lives, wondering if I’ll ever be able to do that.

I have a friend that’s been blogging for over a decade and just lets it all out in her posts. She writes about sex, her relationship, her mental and physical health, and anything going on in her life. And she curses in her posts! See, I would love to be able to do that kind of thing!

I mean, I’m already anonymous here and if I did talk about my relationship, my boyfriend would have a pseudonym, because he’s kind of a private person. And no one from my personal life or family even know about my blog. So, what’s holding me back?

Those damn insecurities.

So here I am, wanting to let it go just be myself. Can I? Well, we’ll see soon enough.

The Joys of Southern Weather

If you’ve ever spent any time in the southern US during the summer, you’ll understand this post quite well. If you haven’t, well, let me just say that you might never want to. I live in central Alabama, born and raised, and, at 40 years old, I still haven’t gotten used to the summers here.

I lived a few years in Arizona, and before going, lots of people would tell me that the heat is a dry heat and that it’s better than what we get here. Well, it’s partly true. Since it’s so dry out there, you don’t sweat quite as much. Your sweat dries out before you can even notice it sometimes.

So, what’s it like here in the summer? It can get so humid and hot that you’ll start sweating within minutes of leaving your house. Does rain make it better? Um, no. Have you ever seen steam coming off the road? That makes it worse. How long does it last? From somewhere around the beginning of May until probably mid- to late September. Not even kidding.

Now don’t get me wrong I do love living here. I love the green and the hills and everything, but dear God, why does it have to be so hot?!

I’m sure it’s been like this all of my life, but I guess as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also gotten less tolerant of the head. I mean, I really don’t remember it being this hot when I was a kid. Maybe kids don’t care as much about things like that. I don’t know.

What about winter, you say? That’s a whole other bag of mixed-up-ness. We do get some really cold days but there are times when you might need a coat or just a sweater in the morning but by noon, it’ll be short sleeve time! Some days you don’t even need to bother with a sweater or coat.

So, if you ever decide to try vising the Southeast, here’s what you should pack. Summertime, the lightest shorts and t-shirts you can find. Wintertime…. basically everything.

Reality Hits

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, but, before I could start shopping, I had to make a pit stop. There was a short line in the bathroom, so I had to wait. While doing so, I glanced at the full-length mirror on the back of the door…and I could tell that I’ve lost weight. It’s not a huge difference, but it’s significant enough that I could actually see it.

At home, the mirror that I really come into contact with is in the bathroom and it’s the usual half-length. So, being short, I see my top half and that’s it. And, honestly, I haven’t really been paying that much attention to more than my face and hair when I’m in there anyway.

I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal. And maybe it’s not, but I have put a lot of work into changing how I eat and motivating myself to exercise. Honestly, that’s a huge feat for me. For years, I’ve said that I was going to make changes and get healthier, lose some weight. And I would never do it. Last year, I made that same statement at the beginning of the year and I actually got myself to do it.

And the results are starting to show. It’s slow-going, yet that’s how I want it to go. Sure, it’d be great if I could wake up on morning and already be at my ultimate goal, but that’s not how the real world works. I’m ok with that, though.

It’a TGIF Post!

Happy Friday, everyone! It’s the day we all look forward to. The day we’ve dreamed and fantasized about since Monday. And here it is! It’s still early in the day while I am writing this, so hopefully it will continue to be a great day. Fingers crossed, man!

It’s been a while, but I won’t dedicate too much of this post with the usual “I’m sorry, I’ll try to do better from now on” kind of thing, even though I will try to do better, but I won’t make any promises about how much I’ll be posting from now on. I started a new job back in February and wanted to gauge the atmosphere and what my work load would be like before I decided to start really putting time in to write posts while at work. But now, I think I can get away with a bit of writing here and there; I just need to come up with topics!

Ok so I spent more time on that than I meant to and now I’ve found that I haven’t got anything else to say at the moment, but I’m sure that’ll change! I’ll just leave you with, come back and see what’s going on around here. Or check out some older posts. Hopefully I’ll see you soon!

Five Year Anniversary

Today I looked in the mirror and saw my mother’s face. Or at least more of it than I’m used to. I can’t tell if it’s just that my face physically looks more like hers nowadays r if maybe some of her personality and spirit are leaking through. Either way, I feel lucky.
Today is the 5th anniversary of my mother’s death and I still miss her a lot. There are still so many times when something happens and I wish that I could tell her about it. There are times still when I would love to be able to ask her advice about something. I’ll be honest, I took for granted the time I had with her, thinking that there would be a lot more of it.
My mom and I didn’t always get along, just as it is with many mothers and daughters. She wanted me to be more outgoing than I was, have more friends, basically to be different than I was. Because of that, there was a lot of friction between us, though I think in the last year or so, we’d gotten along a lot better than he ever had before. In the years since she passed, I have become closer to the kind of person she wanted me to be, though I still don’t have very many friends (I’m ok with that).
Even after saying that, I still always loved my mother very much, and I know that she felt the same. I’ve rationalized that she just wanted me to have the best life I could and she thought that her way of thinking was the best way to get at it.
Even THAT being said, we had a LOT of good times too. I remember listening to old school music and learning to dance in the kitchen. I remember taking drives in the country with her, my dad and my sister. I learned a lot from my mother and I wouldn’t change anything about my life with her…though I would make it longer.
If you still have your mom in your life, don’t take any of the time you have with her for granted, because you really don’t know how much time you have left. One of the constants in life is that we will lose our parents, we just don’t know when.

Southern Church: My (Limited) Experience

When I was a little kid, I spent a lot of time with both sets of grandparents. And spending a lot of time with them, also meant that I went to church with them every once in a while. While I don’t remember every single time that I went with them, I do remember that they were some of the best times.

Both sets were born and raised in small towns, and so they still went to small town churches when I was small. I know many people have seen them, and have probably been in them. And every small town in the South has at least two, sometimes more. They’re these small buildings, maybe 10 pews on each side, and a small piece of building off of the Sanctuary, where the kitchen and bathrooms are…if there are bathrooms, but we’ll come to that in a minute. Most of the time they have parking lots that are either dirt or gravel…and a nightmare for the ladies in fancy dresses if it’s rained.

My maternal grandfather was a Methodist preacher. It was always interesting to watch him give a sermon. I wasn’t always the most still child but there were times when I would be still while listening to him. Well maybe mostly watching…I’m not sure if I did much listening. My grandmother would always give me a pen and an extra bulletin to draw on, just to keep me occupied.

My other grandparents were Primitive Baptists. If you don’t know much about the denomination, you’ll have to Google it because I don’t know much about them either. What I do know, but not why exactly, is that they don’t play music or sing during the service. But my grandparents’ church members would sing Amazing grace for me because I love it so much. And the foot washing. I was only there once for this and don’t really remember much about it…I mean it does sound simple. The men and women would separate and wash each other’s feet.

My favorite part of any church service was what came after the sermon. Dinner on the Green. In the church yard of many, if not all, small town churches, you might have seen those huge cement tables. This is where it happens. The ladies bring out their dishes, sometimes two or three per lady, and lay them all out: Meat all together at one end; vegetables and casseroles were next; then the beautiful deserts. Cakes and pies like you would not believe!

Ok it wasn’t just the food that I liked so much about it. It was a time when people came together to share a meal, talk and laugh, and generally fellowship together. There may have been a little gossip…I mean this IS the South, but mostly, it was people talking about their lives, their children and grandchildren and the wonderful things they’d done. And even as a small child, I knew that this was important.

While those beautiful little churches still stand, many of the congregants have moved on to bigger churches in bigger towns. It’s an unfortunate thing, but it’s the way of things: people change as time goes on.

A Tribute to Mom

Today is Mother’s Day is the US and, like many other people, I would like to a little write about my mother. As I’ve mentioned before, she passed a little over 4 years ago. I’ll be honest with you, I still miss her a lot. I mean, it does get a little easier, but you never really get over it. I know, I’m sorry, it is a little grim. It’s the truth, though.

The very first memory I have of my mom, I was still at that stage where I slept in a crib. I was standing in that crib, watching her put on make-up. I think I was still too young to really think in words, but I do remember having strong feelings for my mom, even then.

As I grew up, I remember cuddling with her on the couch until we both fell asleep. Pretend upsets from her over my mud-covered clothes after a day spent playing outside. Even older, there were impromptu, barefoot dances in the kitchen. Lots of those kinds of dances.

Like with many mother-daughters, we didn’t always get along. There were times when I just didn’t want to talk to her and I’m sure she had those moments too. But I knew, no matter what, my mom would be there for me when I needed her. And I did need her a lot.

And I still do. Before she passed away, I honestly thought we’d have another 20 years together at least. My grandfather, her father, had lived to see 93, so I assumed that she would get close to that age as well. But it wasn’t meant to be.

So now, when coworkers or friends talk about their moms, I tell them to cherish each moment that they are fortunate enough to have. No matter how frustrating their moms can be, at least they still can have those moments, as well as those wonderful moments.

On this day, and any other day, try to spend as much time as you can with your mom.

Food Experiment: Sausage Balls

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I do love to experiment with food. In the past, I have literally just thrown some things together, just to see if it would be good. I like to take ideas that I see on the internet and put my own twist to them. I also really like it when those things are simple and easy to make.

I usually get my ideas scrolling through Pinterest, looking for low carb and (usually) healthy dishes. Today’s recipe couldn’t really be called healthy, per se, but it definitely is low carb. And it’s one that can be changed up depending on your mood or tastes.

It has three ingredients (no kidding): 1 lb ground sausage, about a cup of shredded cheddar cheese and about 2 Tbsp. garlic and herb seasoning. You can choose any kind of cheese or seasoning that you’d like, but I would recommend shredded cheese (of course).

All you have to do is mix it all together and roll them into balls. I made mine about an inch and a half. Seemed like a good size to me.

Next, I fried them in about in inch or so of veggie oil. Again, you can use whatever kind of oil you’d prefer. I’m all about customization. You’ll have to watch them closely….mine stuck a little bit, but not too badly. Fry them, turning once, until they’re a bit brown.

Now since this is pork sausage, I decided to bake them a little bit just to make absolutely sure that they were done inside. I sure as heck don’t want to make myself sick, so I put them in the oven for 20 minutes. That really was long enough to cook them completely (no more pink).

This made 12 balls, which could be enough for two meals, depending on how you eat (no judgement here), but how many you end up with is going to depend on how big you made them. Also the baking time is going to depend on that as well. If you made them smaller than an inch, you might only need to bake them for about 10 minutes…or you might not have to bake them at all.

Once they’re done, you can eat them with whatever side dish you prefer, have them for a snack, or you can use them in a pasta dish. Also, if you don’t eat pork, you can use any ground that you prefer. See? I’m all for customization!