In memoriam…

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The Death of MTV

Do you remember the days when you could discover new music by watching TV and not just from the radio? Do you remember when you go see the bands perform, kind of like a mini-concert in your own home? I do remember those days and it’s been a long time since then.

It all began in1981, when MTV, or Music Television, was brought onto the air. In the beginning it was all about the music videos and featuring new songs or artists. And that’s all it was about. It was a new concept that no one had seen before and lots of people loved it. I’m sure that many young artists got their big break because MTV showed their video.

But in the last 10 or 15 years, everything has changed. Reality shows started showing up on the line-up and now, that and teen-oriented shows are all that’s left. Well, I think there are still some video shows somewhere in the dead part of the night when most people are asleep.

I say all this because a couple of nights ago, the MTV Video Music Awards aired on the network, and I puzzled me. How do you have an awards show for videos when your network only has a couple of hours in which is even shows videos? Nowadays, those music videos are mostly shown on YouTube, so shouldn’t it be changed to the YouTube VMAs?

Now don’t get me wrong, I have loved MTV in the past and even watched some of the first reality shows they aired, like The Real World. But honestly, there was way too much drama and immaturity going on for me to stay interested for long.

I wish it could go back to the way it was, but I know that the generation that watches it now has only known this kind of MTV and would probably never accept the network that it once was. I know that there is no going back, and I am saddened by it. But I suppose the world changes and we must accept those changes and move on.

Learning to Let Go

I love to write and love having a blog…and strangely even with my insecurities and all of that, I love having people, even strangers, reading the things that I write. But I always hold back a little because of those insecurities and not wanting to be judged for the things I write about or the things that I do with my life or feel. I look at other bloggers and the things they write about their lives, wondering if I’ll ever be able to do that.

I have a friend that’s been blogging for over a decade and just lets it all out in her posts. She writes about sex, her relationship, her mental and physical health, and anything going on in her life. And she curses in her posts! See, I would love to be able to do that kind of thing!

I mean, I’m already anonymous here and if I did talk about my relationship, my boyfriend would have a pseudonym, because he’s kind of a private person. And no one from my personal life or family even know about my blog. So, what’s holding me back?

Those damn insecurities.

So here I am, wanting to let it go just be myself. Can I? Well, we’ll see soon enough.

The Joys of Southern Weather

If you’ve ever spent any time in the southern US during the summer, you’ll understand this post quite well. If you haven’t, well, let me just say that you might never want to. I live in central Alabama, born and raised, and, at 40 years old, I still haven’t gotten used to the summers here.

I lived a few years in Arizona, and before going, lots of people would tell me that the heat is a dry heat and that it’s better than what we get here. Well, it’s partly true. Since it’s so dry out there, you don’t sweat quite as much. Your sweat dries out before you can even notice it sometimes.

So, what’s it like here in the summer? It can get so humid and hot that you’ll start sweating within minutes of leaving your house. Does rain make it better? Um, no. Have you ever seen steam coming off the road? That makes it worse. How long does it last? From somewhere around the beginning of May until probably mid- to late September. Not even kidding.

Now don’t get me wrong I do love living here. I love the green and the hills and everything, but dear God, why does it have to be so hot?!

I’m sure it’s been like this all of my life, but I guess as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also gotten less tolerant of the head. I mean, I really don’t remember it being this hot when I was a kid. Maybe kids don’t care as much about things like that. I don’t know.

What about winter, you say? That’s a whole other bag of mixed-up-ness. We do get some really cold days but there are times when you might need a coat or just a sweater in the morning but by noon, it’ll be short sleeve time! Some days you don’t even need to bother with a sweater or coat.

So, if you ever decide to try vising the Southeast, here’s what you should pack. Summertime, the lightest shorts and t-shirts you can find. Wintertime…. basically everything.

Reality Hits

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, but, before I could start shopping, I had to make a pit stop. There was a short line in the bathroom, so I had to wait. While doing so, I glanced at the full-length mirror on the back of the door…and I could tell that I’ve lost weight. It’s not a huge difference, but it’s significant enough that I could actually see it.

At home, the mirror that I really come into contact with is in the bathroom and it’s the usual half-length. So, being short, I see my top half and that’s it. And, honestly, I haven’t really been paying that much attention to more than my face and hair when I’m in there anyway.

I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal. And maybe it’s not, but I have put a lot of work into changing how I eat and motivating myself to exercise. Honestly, that’s a huge feat for me. For years, I’ve said that I was going to make changes and get healthier, lose some weight. And I would never do it. Last year, I made that same statement at the beginning of the year and I actually got myself to do it.

And the results are starting to show. It’s slow-going, yet that’s how I want it to go. Sure, it’d be great if I could wake up on morning and already be at my ultimate goal, but that’s not how the real world works. I’m ok with that, though.

It’a TGIF Post!

Happy Friday, everyone! It’s the day we all look forward to. The day we’ve dreamed and fantasized about since Monday. And here it is! It’s still early in the day while I am writing this, so hopefully it will continue to be a great day. Fingers crossed, man!

It’s been a while, but I won’t dedicate too much of this post with the usual “I’m sorry, I’ll try to do better from now on” kind of thing, even though I will try to do better, but I won’t make any promises about how much I’ll be posting from now on. I started a new job back in February and wanted to gauge the atmosphere and what my work load would be like before I decided to start really putting time in to write posts while at work. But now, I think I can get away with a bit of writing here and there; I just need to come up with topics!

Ok so I spent more time on that than I meant to and now I’ve found that I haven’t got anything else to say at the moment, but I’m sure that’ll change! I’ll just leave you with, come back and see what’s going on around here. Or check out some older posts. Hopefully I’ll see you soon!

Five Year Anniversary

Today I looked in the mirror and saw my mother’s face. Or at least more of it than I’m used to. I can’t tell if it’s just that my face physically looks more like hers nowadays r if maybe some of her personality and spirit are leaking through. Either way, I feel lucky.
Today is the 5th anniversary of my mother’s death and I still miss her a lot. There are still so many times when something happens and I wish that I could tell her about it. There are times still when I would love to be able to ask her advice about something. I’ll be honest, I took for granted the time I had with her, thinking that there would be a lot more of it.
My mom and I didn’t always get along, just as it is with many mothers and daughters. She wanted me to be more outgoing than I was, have more friends, basically to be different than I was. Because of that, there was a lot of friction between us, though I think in the last year or so, we’d gotten along a lot better than he ever had before. In the years since she passed, I have become closer to the kind of person she wanted me to be, though I still don’t have very many friends (I’m ok with that).
Even after saying that, I still always loved my mother very much, and I know that she felt the same. I’ve rationalized that she just wanted me to have the best life I could and she thought that her way of thinking was the best way to get at it.
Even THAT being said, we had a LOT of good times too. I remember listening to old school music and learning to dance in the kitchen. I remember taking drives in the country with her, my dad and my sister. I learned a lot from my mother and I wouldn’t change anything about my life with her…though I would make it longer.
If you still have your mom in your life, don’t take any of the time you have with her for granted, because you really don’t know how much time you have left. One of the constants in life is that we will lose our parents, we just don’t know when.